“Although I believe that transference interpretation is the core mechanism of change in psychoanalysis, I don’t believe it’s the only mechanism. I think there are other things that go on too. I also think that alongside the transference relationship, there’s a real relationship. The final chapter of the book is titled “A Cure by Love”,…

“How do we continue doing this work when the socio-political realities are unimaginable? I’ve been living in Paris the last few years, and I continue to have a full caseload in Tehran and other cities. There was a time that the internet was cut off for our Iranian patients, so there is reality, and then…

“Humanism has been the dominant Western belief system of the last century. It’s based on the worship of human wisdom, human creation, human experience, human mind, and psychoanalysis has very much emerged from this humanist tradition. We believe in psychoanalysis, that delving into our feelings, our thoughts, and our shared wisdom will allow us to…

“When I train candidates I always say start with Freud, learn the interpersonalist, learn the object relations folks, know from what you come, even if you want to be a radical interpersonalist, a radical relationalist, because having that stuff in your back pocket is organizing and creates an ideal to which you can aspire or…

“I’m not suggesting that repression has lost its place as a fundamental defense mechanism. Repression remains central, coherent, and fundamental to the founding of the unconscious. It is what makes certain contents inaccessible to consciousness, and what we access as psychoanalysts through dreams, play, symptoms, and associations. That remains true. What I was observing, and…

“We are a group of analysts working in the greater context of the analytic world, but as a group, we have a profound analytic group process that’s evolved and in profoundly successful ways – we’ve become a group that contains one another, and deals with great difficulties. Mel has given a taste of where we…

“In addition to the easy convenience of bathing two children together, or three children together, there are other motivations of bathing them together. Parents are less aware that there is an excitement in seeing the children naked – although convenience is what’s stated first, I think other things do go into it. Through development reactions…

“This came from an experience with a patient. It was early in my analytic training, and I was working with a supervisor who I really admired, and worked with her for a number of years. She was post-Kleinian, and was great at interpretation, formulation, and she was really helpful with just starting to guide me…

“[A couple state of mind] is the capacity to be subjectively involved with both individuals, but then importantly, to be able to step back, find a third position, and try to understand what the couple are creating together. Although it’s kind of obvious in a way, because surely, that’s what a couple therapist is doing,…

“To come back to this idea of ‘groaning’ – I really like it because I think it’s a good description of the work we do, but particularly because it refers to Antonio Ferro’s concept of the absorbency of the frame, which I think is another way of referring to it, that the frame can take a…